May 15, 2023
May is Mental Health Awareness month as many of you know. In honor of this month, we tapped one of our talented partners, Bob VandePol, to assist with this month's post.
Bob is a Northstar EAP partner with an impressive background and career. He wrote this post to help others learn about the importance of building resilience.
An Employee Assistance Program is put in place partly to build resilience into an organization while helping individuals create their own. This is a skill and asset that you can take and use beyond office walls and throughout your entire life. It does take some awareness and effort.
We are often asked at Northstar, what makes you different and unique when comparing to other EAPs. We always start with explaining not all EAPs are created equal, and an EAP of any investment should be giving you a return. The return is embedded in your workforce to create a holistic approach to wellness. Whether its through Utilization Reports and data, connecting with your employees to coach and counsel them and assist with mental health struggles, or connecting your group with partners like Bob, Northstar is here to help with all of it, to be a partner, to be more than a vendor.
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"No way. That is NOT how I walk!"
Those words formed on my lips long ago in an 8:00 a.m. Anatomy & Kinesiology college class. The professor had just defined walking as "the repetition of leaning forward, falling, and catching yourself."
I was a college athlete who took pride in my speed and balance. Certainly, my mobility was not limited by such a humble definition. My training focused upon building explosive power, flexibility, and muscle memory. She went on to claim that perhaps the most important skill in learning to walk was mastering the steps in getting up after falling.
"That's it. I'm outta here."
Years later as I gleefully watched my own children learn to totter around the house, her theory made greater sense - for toddlers, that is, not me. It was only after a serious water-skiing accident that necessitated my learning to walk again that I grasped the full value of that lecture. I had to lean forward, fall slightly, and catch myself. Again, and again and again.
Resilience lessons learned
It's wonderful but it's hard. Acknowledge that fact, lean into it, and move on.
Success is often the result of managing risk just outside of our comfort zone into a growth zone. Safe but not too safe.
Being able to simultaneously picture both a distant goal and your very next step is important. Don't lose sight of either. We need a mission, and we need tactics.
I was fueled by my faith, encouragement from basketball buddies to join them in next year's tournaments, the desire to be active with my children, and by a surgeon who detachedly said, "That must have felt like a bomb went off in your leg. You will never play again."
Each of those fuels provided the "why" behind the many painful "whats" of recovery.
My physical therapist advised and required specific techniques that were helpful. He also pointed out where I could make things worse. He knew his stuff. I loved him. I hated him.
We need encouragement, celebration, accountability, and feedback. Resilience is not solitary. Both receiving support and giving support are helpful to self, others, and watchers.
Sometimes it's really embarrassing. That's OK. We don't have to pretend it didn't happen.
Resilience is not stoic denial of the impact of a challenging situation. It is not presenting outward toughness and an answer of "fine" when asked if we are OK.
Resilience acknowledges the full impact of the stressor and answers, "Lousy, but I'll be OK. This is really hard, and it knocked me flat. But within me, above me, and around me are the resources needed to get back up."
Newton's Laws of Physics include "An object in motion will stay in motion, and an object at rest will stay at rest unless some force acts upon that object." Keep moving.
I appreciate and enjoy being able to run, jump and play more than ever before. I also respect others' resilience efforts in a new way.
Pick yourself up. Keep walking. Humbly and proudly.
Bob VandePol
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